Death of an Angel
Index
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Jun   8,  F -
(Continued) 		Jo stayed in I the waiting room, but I wanted to see what was going on; thus, I stood by the door some 20 to 30 feet away.  Every time before when Jennifer had a serious episode of turning blue, the doctor in attendance rushed Jennifer to the treatment room.  This time she was not taken to the treatment room right away, but rather, they worked on her by the isolette where there was no special equipment.  About five to ten minutes later they took her to NICU treatment room.  We were left in the waiting room for about a half an hour not knowing what was happening - it seemed like an eternity.

Even though nurses went back and forth, no one said anything.  Alice came by, we asked her what was being done - how was Jennifer? She said that she would check.  She went back to the treatment room.  When she came out, she went by our waiting room on her way out of the NICU - she looked at us as if to say "I'm sorry I can't talk to you", and kept on going without letting us know what she had found out.  After a while Mrs. Ferrari came by the NICU, and asked us what was wrong, I said that I did not know, but that Jennifer was in the treatment room.  She went back to the treatment room to check on Jennifer - she came back saying that Jennifer was in very bad condition.

I asked Mrs. Ferrari to call Father John to baptize Jennifer - she left to do so.  Dr. King came finally to the waiting room, and said that Jennifer was in very bad condition, and that she would probably not live.  Jennifer in on machines, and she is not responding on her own.  Dr. King said that if Jennifer does not respond soon, she will have to disconnect the machines - at that she left.  She came back some time later to say that Jennifer had died. Father John did not get there on time - they told us that one of the nurses did the baptism. Dr. King said that she was sorry, but I had to understand that Medicine is not an exact Science.  She said that the reason that Jennifer died was that she could not tolerate feeding - that's a bunch of bunk - Jennifer had not been fed orally for two days.

I tried to hold my composure for as long as I could.  Father John came in to comfort us.  I asked him to give her the "Last Rites".  He said it was too late - she is already dead, and that we now have a little angel in heaven.  I could no longer hold back the tears.  We were alone with father John for a while, and then one of the nurses (Maurine) came in also.  She had always been sweet to Jennifer.  She had put up a mobile in Jennifer's isolette a couple of days ago that Jennifer liked to watch at times, and she even seemed to swing at it.  Just today she put a balloon on the outside of Jennifer's isolette.  We told her that we loved all the nurses, and that we knew that they always did their best for Jennifer - she almost cried also, but tried to stay professional - I admire her for that.

When Father John left, Dr. King came back in, and so did Mr. Strom from 4B.  Dr. King asked me to sign permission papers for an autopsy.  She said that it was for our protection as well as for theirs.  I wanted to indicate that Jennifer's autopsy be performed with as much dignity as possible by not authorizing medical experimentation after autopsy, but Dr. King said that might not allow certain slides and the like to be forwarded to other doctors during the normal course of the autopsy - both Dr. King and Mr. Strom assured me that only those procedures would be performed which were necessary for a complete and thorough autopsy; thus, I signed the authorization papers without any qualifications.
 


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                © O.A. Banhidy 2006